Archive for June, 2008

In a couple of hours I will have officially graduated from highschool. Which means its finally time for me to leave home and search beyond my own horizon. But I know that I wouldnt be who I am today if it were not for the grace of God, and within that grace God has blessed me with two wonderful parents. I pray that each parent will be able to have there children praise them as I can. I am truly blessed.
On graduation sunday at church, I sang this song that I wrote as a tribute to them. I wanted it to reflect the verse:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

May I Run

As I look to whats ahead
I pack up my childish dreams
Seeing how theyve changed from beauty queen
To beloved and Redeemed.
But so far as Ive sung my lifes song
Ive danced on Daddys feet,
Now its time for me to step towards righteousness
On the road hes prepared for me.

May I run
With excelence to the prize that is set before me
May I spread my wings and fly – knowing that I
am fully yours
You have blessed me through my past
Making me who I am
So my God, My King, My future’s in you Hands
May I run

Im created for Gods glory
Woven in the depths of earth
He’s ordained my lifes story
Before my birth
Im made fearfully and wonderfully
I know this full well
Because my eyes are set on Jesus Christ
So may I never fail

Never fail to run
(repeat chorus)

May I throw off the things that hinder me
The sin that so entangles me
Hear is my heart lord,
Set it free

Free to Run
(rep. chorus)

So if the son has set us free
then we must be free indeed
Free to Run.


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I wrote this about a year ago to my sister, and recently read it again. My past convictions continue to convict me now as I persue Christ. May it bless you also:

Jul 3, 2007 8:02 AM

To my beloved sister,

I know we have our squabbles, but you are growing by leaps and bounds into a Godly young woman everyday, I am truly blessed to have you as my sister. So I wanted to pass on to you some things I’ve learned, so you don’t have to make the same mistakes I and other young girls have made. I know some of the things I will say don’t affect you much now, but just as multiplication is built upon addition, your future depends on who you are today.
It’s so hard to be a young Christian woman in our culture today. God wants us to live “in” the world, but he doesn’t want us to be “of” the world. Yet our society has dictated that in order to live a joyous youth, you must date, and discover what it means to be young and in love while you are still in your “prime.” This is a lie. Christian girls have come to believe that they should still perform our cultures worldly traditions, but do so in a Godly way. They are led to believe the idea of dating as a necessary part of growth, and try to make their relationships “religious”. But there is no Godly way doing things the world’s way. Yet so many people think that if you can fight the fight and win the struggle by scorching your passion before the flame consumes you and manage to keep virginity, while managing to involve yourself with every male suitor that comes your way, you are successful. This will only leave your heart in torment, stretched out in every direction. And nothing is lonelier than being used and abandoned.
If I were to propose the idea to you of arranged marriage, you would probably look at me like I’m crazy, like I’m suggesting to send you to the stocks. Of course I’m not, but think of it this way: I personally would much rather be given to one man, to learn about him intimately, and fall in love with him deeply, with out being self conscience, without having guilt for giving my self away to other men, or being paranoid of yet another heart break. When all those negative things are out of the picture, I would be able to look at the relationship with excitement and joy and pleasure. I would be able to have delight in him, and he with me, with no emotional baggage. While on the other hand, if I decided to search to find a man myself, I would quickly learn who is wrong for me, and I would learn it the hard way. My heart will be tested, teased, stretched, manipulated and even broken, until I found the right one to give it to. And when I finally find that man to give my heart to, I would be embarrassed to give it to him in the condition that would be in. But Gods way is so much better than both of these. Breanna, God wants you to spend your “prime” falling madly in love with him. He wants you to give your heart to him, so that it can be whole and complete, and he wants to fill it with so much satisfaction, that you live life abundantly. Someday he will send you someone, your prince charming, and it will be as if God was saying “Because I love you so much, I’m going to give you someone for you to share my love with on earth.” That way, everything you do can be an act of worship. You think that love is grand? Heaven is far more than we could ever imagine. The love you’ll share on earth will just be a taste. But until that prince charming comes, be a sleeping beauty.
You know just as a fat kid has to retrain their taste buds before they crave healthy food, I’ve had to retrain my taste buds to boys. I fell into the trap of believing that relationships are exciting and enthralling, and a good way to learn about myself and have a good time. But I’ve found that nothing has distracted me more from my relationship with God than a relationship with a guy. God never fails me, but guys have. So every day I’ve had to surrender guys back to god. I’ve surrendered my thoughts, whether it be “oh, he’s so cute” or “maybe I’ll find a guy here or there.” I’ve to surrender the desire for affection that will never run deep. I’ve had to surrender my want to be held after a hard day. I’ve to surrender dressing up to impress a guy. And let me tell you. IT WAS HARD and IT TOOK TIME. But I’ve seen since I’ve been at done that God has delivered me from trying to find satisfaction in guys, to finding satisfaction in him. I can’t tell you how free I feel. You never realize how trapped you are until your released. I am so happy, and I can just focus on my relationship with God with a clear mind. I know what its like to have your mind cluttered with “I wonder what he’s thinking” and so on and so forth. Satan comes to steal kill and destroy, whispering lies in my ears that I need a relationship on earth for fulfillment. But Christ came to give life and life abundantly, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m not missing out on anything when I’m full of Christ love.
I know that you’re coming to a time in your life where the babes are lookin’ pretty tasty! Lol. And I can’t tell you that you shouldn’t date, though I wish I never had. But I want to challenge you. If you could, for the rest of the summer, focus on God. And every time you think about boys, surrender it to him. This summer, let it be a boy-worry -free summer. Retrain the way you think, the bible says to set your mind on things above. It will be hard, but I promise, you will start out school with a good head on your shoulders, and God will teach you so many things. You’re a leader Breanna. People are going to want to be like you, no matter what you do, so wouldn’t it be better if you were like Jesus?
If you want, we can read the bible together. I’m reading one chapter of John a day. Today was my second day, but I’m already struggling not to read ahead. The cool thing is is that there are 21 chapters, and there are 21 days to make or break a habit. You should do it with me, it doesn’t take more than five minutes, and if we do this, we can start reading Romans.
Well I have to go. Im late for work, But I am saving you water bottles for cheerleading! =)

Your Sister…

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Search me oh God
Know my heart
See if there is any way in me that pulls me astray
For I am bound to your mercy
I am fettered to your love
Create in me a pure heart
A heart that delights in you only
I have chosen the path of righteousness
Do not let me go astray
I tred the path that is narrow
Keep my feet from going weary
Should I turn away now?
Should I deny the grace that has brought me thus far?
Such a thought is purtide to my mind.
A bad taste to my mouth.
All the more I cling to you
I hold fast to my King
As a child not yet weaned from his mother.
Hold onto me as I hold on to you.
I have come accustomed to your ways.
your will is my delight.
your law my couselors.
Defend me from evil
For i am defensless.
Safegaurd me from tempations
For I am weak.
With out you
There is no hope
there is no life
there is no joy.
No everlasting peace
With out you there is nothing,
Because All was created by you
Through you
for you.
I am your creatiion.
May the life this body creates
Be submissive to your will.
May the work my hands toil
bring glory to your name.
May the words my lips utter
And the thoughts my mind ponder
Be centered on Christ, on you, on my messiah.
I am your creation.
Made by you
Made through you
Made for you.
May every fiber of my being sing your praises.
let me reverberate with a rejoicing refrain of your glory
May I repent daily.
May i fall on my knees and give you the worship that is due.
May everyday be a new way
To fall more in love with you.
Hold onto me as I hold onto you.
This world is to hard
Satan is to hard
My flesh is to hard
Temptation to hard
All is to hard with out your grace.
Praise be to you
May I give you glory
Humble me
May I exalt you
With all of my praise
With all of my heart
With all of my life
With all that i am.
May i exalt your name.
My King
My savior
My wonderful friend.

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