Archive for the ‘dating’ Category


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I’m a firm believer in recognizing and fulfilling the roles that God has established in our lives. Yet when time rolls by and relationships become more and more routine, Its hard to look at your daily tasks as a God given responsibility to fulfill your role as a man, woman, mother, son, ect.

The 30-day Challenge was designed for Women to realize they’re role as a wife to encourage there husbands, giving them tools and ideas to spend thirty days strengthening there husband spiritually and emotional.
This is a vital part of our social family unit, and a vital part of our world. Its about time that we as women step up to the plate that God has prepared for us and cheer our relationships to victory.
For more information go to: The 30-day Challenge. I pray that each wife that reads this will take this challenge.

Unfortunately for this challenge, I am not a wife. But I do someday want to be an encouraging wife and I want to support my husband. For that reason I am going to take the The 30-day Challenge, but instead of my husband, I’m going to encourage my Dad. Of course I cant say “I’m so glad you picked me out of all  the other women!” but I can build him up in love.

So if I can do it- you can do it!!

The 30-day Challenge < click it now!


Day one:
I’ve had alot of views on this post, so i thought I would tell you how day one went. It went good.
Day one asks to say something positive to your husband and about your husband.
But with me and my dad, I usually complement him alot (its just kinda who I am).
So I went and left him a note on his desk at work so he would actually pay attention to it.
Heres something nice I can say about him:
Growing up, he always took me on Daddy-Daughter Dates. I remember this one like it was yesterday. enjoy (at my own expense):

 I am very blessed.

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One of my favorite verses is this:

Psalm 84:11:
 “ For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
   the LORD bestows favor and honor.
 No good thing does he withhold
   from those who walk uprightly.”

How can that be?  

As I sit at my computer typing I notice the thin band of silver around my finger isn’t studded with a chunk of diamond. Or if I gaze out my window, the oak trees block my view of what could be the ocean. I am not a superior athlete or talented composer. I can’t organize things properly for the life of me, and I would love to be able to cook a 5 star meal. 

All of the above are good things. Good things that I don’t have. Am I misreading this verse or this a phony as the promise to drop 4 dress sizes in 2 days? Neither. 

Jeremiah 29:11 
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope

The truth of the matter is that God withholds no good thing to those who walk according to the plan He has for them.  Would I enjoy being able to hit a ball out of the park? Sure. But if God were to shower me with an unlimited supply of gifts my mortal body couldn’t handle it. I would run around trying to satisfy my hearts desires when God created me for one thing. Therefore, the things that we may see as “good,” God may choose too withhold from us in order to achieve a greater good for our lives and the plan that He has for us. 

In the same way God often gives us times of testing and persecution. 

James 1:2-5:
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 

So in the terms of holding and withholding… Does God withhold desired relationships from us?
In my last written entry I wrote about the Relational Trinity; how we as human beings require a relationship with God, family, and community to ultimately bring Him glory and be satisfied in Him.
And though I do believe that believers need these relationships in order to function healthfully within the body of Christ, I also think that God withholds certain relationships for our good. 

Sometimes a relationship is withheld for a certain amount of time to fulfill Gods timing. This was the case with Abraham and Sarah and their promise for a child. God withheld the birth of their son for many years and until they were old in age. But Gods promise was fulfilled While other times God may withhold it completely. We see this with Paul in the book of Romans as he displays his conviction to not be wed to a woman but to the mission of the Gospel.  

I know in my own life I have often questioned God on why he would not supply me with a Godly friendship, one that would support me emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. But He is working His plan out according to His timing and my good. God is faithful. 

I don’t know where you may be in life: Maybe your morning the loss of a loved one or morning a love that was lost. You may wish you had children, a spouse, a best friend. 

But may I challenge you to continue to remember and believe that God withholds no good thing from those whose walk is blameless. If you continue to peruse a relationship with Him He will shower you with undeserved grace. 

Matthew 6:33: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

The verse above, Jeremiah 29:11, goes on to say this in verses 12-13 

 “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes…”  

Though God may with hold certain relationships for our good, the promise to believers is that the relationship between us and God is never withheld. We shall find him when we seek him with all our hearts.  

If you are wasting time, pining away for a relationship that seems out of reach. Remember that God is never out of reach, because he withholds no good thing from us when we follow Him. 


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So my original intent is that my next post was going to be my Free will/Predestination conclusion.
But…. I have a cold and the head contains the mental capacity of a potpie before it explodes in the microwave. So… I thought I would post these! Enjoy!lester.jpg



1 Corinthians 13


 1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

We Love because He first loved us
Take time to fall in love with your creator this Valentines day!

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The following is a an entry I wrote to myself Oct 6, 2007 referring to my first encounter with the Calvinistic view which had taken place months before that was written. 

At first I was absolutely appalled at the thought of predestination.
And I’m amazed at how much I’ve changed from the person I was.
Whether or not my original thoughts have changed, I now have the ability to support what i believe on a far deeper level.

My post is unedited, which is why there is still my thoughts on the one that introduced the idea of selection.

Im posting this now because the events that have taken place today have dramatically effected my thoughts on free will that began almost a year ago.

So enjoy: My conclusion on this event is soon to follow. 

“I came to the period of his last word. I realized my breathing had changed. Short, heavy and shallow; weighted upon my chest. I elevated my ribcage, expanding my lunges, I hoped to get some oxygen to my brain.
How had this happened?

The thing I pride my self on the most, I am the weakest at. What a fool.
Thinking back, I can’t find what I did wrong. Never a physical affirmation, or a word or an ambiguous word of encouragement; but never had I fallen so hard. With a child like infatuation, I hung on to every word so delicately presented from his lips and cradled them in my heart. Speech, so eloquently intertwined with genius and humility, he pointed to the true desire of my heart: Christ. He was such a blessing to me. But I suppose I put to much emphasis on the gift rather than the giver, and the thought of him pulls at the threads of my heart. I valued him, his thoughts, and his beliefs.

Now, though the waters of Time flood through my life, the memory isn’t washed away. My mind reverts back to a world so unworldly, where the presents of God loomed heavily like honey, dripping into every part of my soul until I was utterly engrossed. Sweet and rich. Today the thought of it becomes dry in my mouth. I partly wish I was crystallized into that state, but then I couldn’t be molded to who I am or who I’ll be.

But there he was. Subconsciously leaning forward, enraptured, I let my senses expand, not wanting to jade anything within the sphere I had created. Yet the protection of my mind and heart, that I had so painstakingly created burst. I had delved so deep so quickly into the stimulating narcotic of enlightenment he had provided, that my shield was yielded, my fortress of belief cracked, and my years of sensory manipulation had been severed. I was vulnerable. Questions became seeping in, one leading to another, rising, building; until I found myself unable to sort or contain them. I was drowning. Confusion, fear and frustration, my heart was torn as I realized my misperception of the God I had grown up believing in, speaking too, following. Now: I’m so different. My Sunday school innocence has been stripped away.

I remember the night that my cocoon of culture and upbringing, that had so tightly woven around me, began to unravel. Stricken with emotional discomfort, I physically fled from the conviction behind his words. I sat in the darkness, unable to cry, or think, or do anything productive. I was on sensory overload, and didn’t know what to do with myself. The steam that had billowed up inside of me found no aperture, instead it pressed through my pores, my skin became hot and thick. At least an hour later he found me. He surprised me as much I did him at our meeting. To be blunt; I felt that I had been spiritually raped; my shallow views of Christianity had been punctured. Sitting there in the night, I peered at my attacker through my peripheral vision with an odd dependency, letting his less than assuring words soothe my bleeding heart. I listened. He spoke. “With greater wisdom comes great sorrow.” I found an uncanny comfort in that statement, and wrapped it around my nakedness. His words continued, carried by blunt conviction, and empathy. The sky became deeper, and the flowing melody of his once rushing words lulled my heavy eyes. He became less autobiographical and more historical and my attention dwindled into the night. When I finally lay my worn body to bed, I never had slept so sound.

The next few days I watched him separated by the awkwardness of the intellectual intimacy I had felt the night before. He was timid, gauche, sometimes horribly inconsiderate, but so ergonomically incorrect it made me smile. Wisdom was his safe ground, where he was bold, confident and ready to defend. Yet in both aspects he was unmistakably cute. I was enthralled the most by the fact that he invested his wisdom in me. In those times when I encompassed the sphere of theological/philosophical understanding, he stepped away from being the moral boy defined by actions to a courageous, unshakably convicted young man. I learned so much. Scripture took a new light. Best of all I learned to teach and challenge myself.

I suppose that God intentionally chose him to become a nail to his hammer, breaking in the light I had only thought I had always seen. At first it was blinding, but ever since the world around me has become so rich. Nevertheless I responded wrong to Gods prodding.
So much so, that I find myself months later reading the words he has graced the world by allowing to read. Blogs. Oh the wonderful world of myspace. In the after math, I struggle to find someone who can take his place to challenge me spiritually. He is a reoccurring thought, and I question the emotions that well within me at the thought of his name. He is linked to a crucial time period of my life, for separate reasons that I failed to make reference to, and a key player to a turning point in my life. As a citizen to the world you may read this and instantaneously come to the conclusion that it’s romantic stimulated emotion, and that’s understandable by the false perception of relations that the media world gives. But it was in a far different, inexplicable realm than that. Not to mention that we were miles, leagues, and eras away from being compatible in that aspect. I do know this: someday when he does marry, his wife will be a very blessed and but tolerant woman. While I on the other hand, will settle for no less that someone who can lead me spiritually, so that I can intentionally grow closer to him as we grow closer to our Creator.”


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Monday, October 22, 2007

I desire nothing less than to be desired.
To be loved for who I am.
Not for what I can offer.
Wanted not to selfishly fufill
But to whole heartedly give
By one who’s delighted and captivited,
by the flash within the eyes
by the thoughts and visions 
That wizz and blurr through the mind
enlighting a swelling joy to heart.
Imbraces oddness, and pecilur ways
The quirky ideas and spontanious rainy days
Carpe de Diem
“Seize the day”
Take the opportunity
Dont let it pass away
I’m told to live laugh and love while i can
Live life to the fullest in its short span
And fufill the deep desires indwelling with in
React to the notion that crawls through my skin
And as I lay away at night, and cling to my sheets
My mind digests thoughts that dark of night greets.
“Carpe Diem.”

But I can’t

“Why dont you follow us in our silly game?
Fall in and out of infactuation, start over less than the same.
Why can’t you gratify your self for a while?
Give into lifes pleasures, retreat from denial.”

But I cant.

I can’t share my heart. Its not mine to give
Yet this world tries to steal it from me.
Captivated in the hand of my Creator,
My Heart only there is set free.

I’m sorry I cant please you.
I only aim to please One.

Im sorry I cant join you,
its not my idea of fun.

Im sorry I cant love you,
You simply arnt the one

Oh my God I praise you
For all that you have done.

I have choosen to be his choosen
I’m devoted to my devotion.
I imbrace that I am beloved
Because he first loved me.

It is a sacrifice. It is hard. It is worth it.
No one can satisfy the soul like Christ.

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