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I wrote this about a year ago to my sister, and recently read it again. My past convictions continue to convict me now as I persue Christ. May it bless you also:

Jul 3, 2007 8:02 AM

To my beloved sister,

I know we have our squabbles, but you are growing by leaps and bounds into a Godly young woman everyday, I am truly blessed to have you as my sister. So I wanted to pass on to you some things I’ve learned, so you don’t have to make the same mistakes I and other young girls have made. I know some of the things I will say don’t affect you much now, but just as multiplication is built upon addition, your future depends on who you are today.
It’s so hard to be a young Christian woman in our culture today. God wants us to live “in” the world, but he doesn’t want us to be “of” the world. Yet our society has dictated that in order to live a joyous youth, you must date, and discover what it means to be young and in love while you are still in your “prime.” This is a lie. Christian girls have come to believe that they should still perform our cultures worldly traditions, but do so in a Godly way. They are led to believe the idea of dating as a necessary part of growth, and try to make their relationships “religious”. But there is no Godly way doing things the world’s way. Yet so many people think that if you can fight the fight and win the struggle by scorching your passion before the flame consumes you and manage to keep virginity, while managing to involve yourself with every male suitor that comes your way, you are successful. This will only leave your heart in torment, stretched out in every direction. And nothing is lonelier than being used and abandoned.
If I were to propose the idea to you of arranged marriage, you would probably look at me like I’m crazy, like I’m suggesting to send you to the stocks. Of course I’m not, but think of it this way: I personally would much rather be given to one man, to learn about him intimately, and fall in love with him deeply, with out being self conscience, without having guilt for giving my self away to other men, or being paranoid of yet another heart break. When all those negative things are out of the picture, I would be able to look at the relationship with excitement and joy and pleasure. I would be able to have delight in him, and he with me, with no emotional baggage. While on the other hand, if I decided to search to find a man myself, I would quickly learn who is wrong for me, and I would learn it the hard way. My heart will be tested, teased, stretched, manipulated and even broken, until I found the right one to give it to. And when I finally find that man to give my heart to, I would be embarrassed to give it to him in the condition that would be in. But Gods way is so much better than both of these. Breanna, God wants you to spend your “prime” falling madly in love with him. He wants you to give your heart to him, so that it can be whole and complete, and he wants to fill it with so much satisfaction, that you live life abundantly. Someday he will send you someone, your prince charming, and it will be as if God was saying “Because I love you so much, I’m going to give you someone for you to share my love with on earth.” That way, everything you do can be an act of worship. You think that love is grand? Heaven is far more than we could ever imagine. The love you’ll share on earth will just be a taste. But until that prince charming comes, be a sleeping beauty.
You know just as a fat kid has to retrain their taste buds before they crave healthy food, I’ve had to retrain my taste buds to boys. I fell into the trap of believing that relationships are exciting and enthralling, and a good way to learn about myself and have a good time. But I’ve found that nothing has distracted me more from my relationship with God than a relationship with a guy. God never fails me, but guys have. So every day I’ve had to surrender guys back to god. I’ve surrendered my thoughts, whether it be “oh, he’s so cute” or “maybe I’ll find a guy here or there.” I’ve to surrender the desire for affection that will never run deep. I’ve had to surrender my want to be held after a hard day. I’ve to surrender dressing up to impress a guy. And let me tell you. IT WAS HARD and IT TOOK TIME. But I’ve seen since I’ve been at done that God has delivered me from trying to find satisfaction in guys, to finding satisfaction in him. I can’t tell you how free I feel. You never realize how trapped you are until your released. I am so happy, and I can just focus on my relationship with God with a clear mind. I know what its like to have your mind cluttered with “I wonder what he’s thinking” and so on and so forth. Satan comes to steal kill and destroy, whispering lies in my ears that I need a relationship on earth for fulfillment. But Christ came to give life and life abundantly, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m not missing out on anything when I’m full of Christ love.
I know that you’re coming to a time in your life where the babes are lookin’ pretty tasty! Lol. And I can’t tell you that you shouldn’t date, though I wish I never had. But I want to challenge you. If you could, for the rest of the summer, focus on God. And every time you think about boys, surrender it to him. This summer, let it be a boy-worry -free summer. Retrain the way you think, the bible says to set your mind on things above. It will be hard, but I promise, you will start out school with a good head on your shoulders, and God will teach you so many things. You’re a leader Breanna. People are going to want to be like you, no matter what you do, so wouldn’t it be better if you were like Jesus?
If you want, we can read the bible together. I’m reading one chapter of John a day. Today was my second day, but I’m already struggling not to read ahead. The cool thing is is that there are 21 chapters, and there are 21 days to make or break a habit. You should do it with me, it doesn’t take more than five minutes, and if we do this, we can start reading Romans.
Well I have to go. Im late for work, But I am saving you water bottles for cheerleading! =)

Your Sister…

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I’m a firm believer in recognizing and fulfilling the roles that God has established in our lives. Yet when time rolls by and relationships become more and more routine, Its hard to look at your daily tasks as a God given responsibility to fulfill your role as a man, woman, mother, son, ect.

The 30-day Challenge was designed for Women to realize they’re role as a wife to encourage there husbands, giving them tools and ideas to spend thirty days strengthening there husband spiritually and emotional.
This is a vital part of our social family unit, and a vital part of our world. Its about time that we as women step up to the plate that God has prepared for us and cheer our relationships to victory.
I LOVE IT!
For more information go to: The 30-day Challenge. I pray that each wife that reads this will take this challenge.

Unfortunately for this challenge, I am not a wife. But I do someday want to be an encouraging wife and I want to support my husband. For that reason I am going to take the The 30-day Challenge, but instead of my husband, I’m going to encourage my Dad. Of course I cant say “I’m so glad you picked me out of all  the other women!” but I can build him up in love.

So if I can do it- you can do it!!

The 30-day Challenge < click it now!

-kay

Day one:
I’ve had alot of views on this post, so i thought I would tell you how day one went. It went good.
Day one asks to say something positive to your husband and about your husband.
But with me and my dad, I usually complement him alot (its just kinda who I am).
So I went and left him a note on his desk at work so he would actually pay attention to it.
Heres something nice I can say about him:
Growing up, he always took me on Daddy-Daughter Dates. I remember this one like it was yesterday. enjoy (at my own expense):

 I am very blessed.

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Marriage is like a city under siege.
Those on the outside want to get in… and those on the inside want to get out.

Why cant we live up to the roles that God has for us today and let it prepare us for tommorow?
Why cant we pursue the will of God more than our own desires knowing that he will give us the desires of our hearts according to his will?

Why cant we joyously pursue God? 

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One of my favorite verses is this:

Psalm 84:11:
 “ For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
   the LORD bestows favor and honor.
 No good thing does he withhold
   from those who walk uprightly.”
 

How can that be?  

As I sit at my computer typing I notice the thin band of silver around my finger isn’t studded with a chunk of diamond. Or if I gaze out my window, the oak trees block my view of what could be the ocean. I am not a superior athlete or talented composer. I can’t organize things properly for the life of me, and I would love to be able to cook a 5 star meal. 

All of the above are good things. Good things that I don’t have. Am I misreading this verse or this a phony as the promise to drop 4 dress sizes in 2 days? Neither. 

Jeremiah 29:11 
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope
.

The truth of the matter is that God withholds no good thing to those who walk according to the plan He has for them.  Would I enjoy being able to hit a ball out of the park? Sure. But if God were to shower me with an unlimited supply of gifts my mortal body couldn’t handle it. I would run around trying to satisfy my hearts desires when God created me for one thing. Therefore, the things that we may see as “good,” God may choose too withhold from us in order to achieve a greater good for our lives and the plan that He has for us. 

In the same way God often gives us times of testing and persecution. 

James 1:2-5:
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 

So in the terms of holding and withholding… Does God withhold desired relationships from us?
In my last written entry I wrote about the Relational Trinity; how we as human beings require a relationship with God, family, and community to ultimately bring Him glory and be satisfied in Him.
And though I do believe that believers need these relationships in order to function healthfully within the body of Christ, I also think that God withholds certain relationships for our good. 

Sometimes a relationship is withheld for a certain amount of time to fulfill Gods timing. This was the case with Abraham and Sarah and their promise for a child. God withheld the birth of their son for many years and until they were old in age. But Gods promise was fulfilled While other times God may withhold it completely. We see this with Paul in the book of Romans as he displays his conviction to not be wed to a woman but to the mission of the Gospel.  

I know in my own life I have often questioned God on why he would not supply me with a Godly friendship, one that would support me emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. But He is working His plan out according to His timing and my good. God is faithful. 

I don’t know where you may be in life: Maybe your morning the loss of a loved one or morning a love that was lost. You may wish you had children, a spouse, a best friend. 

But may I challenge you to continue to remember and believe that God withholds no good thing from those whose walk is blameless. If you continue to peruse a relationship with Him He will shower you with undeserved grace. 

Matthew 6:33: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

The verse above, Jeremiah 29:11, goes on to say this in verses 12-13 

 “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes…”  

Though God may with hold certain relationships for our good, the promise to believers is that the relationship between us and God is never withheld. We shall find him when we seek him with all our hearts.  

If you are wasting time, pining away for a relationship that seems out of reach. Remember that God is never out of reach, because he withholds no good thing from us when we follow Him. 

-kay

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