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It seems that in Christian culture there are more doctrines than denominations, and the denominations outweigh the people to fill them.
This is troubling to me.
Who is right? Who is mistaking  honest obedience with blatant sin?
“Whos cheatin who? Whos staying true? Who dont even care any more?”

My Sister is 15, and though we both have an intimate relationship with our mother, we both view her very differently.
My sister is characterized by this: She gets caught up with the petty dramas of this world, she’s often cold and not relational, she finds confidence and self worth in her peers, and she’s more concerned about whats cool than whats right, she loves to argue, detached in revealing her thoughts and feelings.
I, on the other hand: am extremely relational, my love language is tough, I seek after righteousness, get in trouble very little, i need to know that my parents are proud of me, i share my thought processes and seek guidance, ect.

I see my mother as more of a companion, while my sister sees her as more of the care giver, and disciplinary.
That is simply because we are at different stages in life. If we were both asked to  describe the same woman, we would describe her very differently. Would all the things be true? Yes
While my sister may say she is very strict. I would argue that she is lenient. Both of these are true.

So what about God? God is a God of complete sovereignty as we orchestrates the story of humanity for His glory and pleasure. God also allows us to have responsibility, to either fulfill or deny.
I fully believe that these juxtaposed ideas can coexsist. Like parallel lines that go on together, and never meet a point of conclusion- Gods power, and Gods allowance cannot satisfy one another, but are both vital to the Christian beliefs.
I believe that though many doctrines do not compliment one another in emphasis, they do depict a small aspect of Gods vast and round character.

We earth dwellers will never witness the other side of the moon as long as we live on the earth, but we cant agrue that it doesnt exsist. You may never witness an aspect of God, but you cannot argue that it doesn’t exist.
I myself feel that i have only acutely witnessed the wrath of God, if at all. But God is a God of wrath.
Those who don’t believe in God, have never excepted Gods kindness. But God is a God of great Kindness in love.

Doctrine is necessary. But not essential. The blood of Christ is essential.
So speak truth in love. Let iron sharpen iron. Allow your concept of God widen as the spirit reveals truth and Gods word confirms it. Know God.
But above everything else- trust in the redemptive work that took place on the cross, because beyond that, all doctrines fail.

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Oh God! What are the plans you have for me?
The plans for a future and a hope?
Because I look into the days to come
All i see is weary feet
A heavy heart.
Will you carry me?
Oh God, What do you have instore for me?
You have created me, You call me your masterpeice
Where is the good work that you have created me for?

“Many are the plans in a mans heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that provails.” Proverbs 19:21

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Life is but threshold
Death is but a door
Concealing the greatest awakening
The quench for something more.
Yet every tongue in every land,
Sounds their battle cry.
Through the tears that sting their eyes,
We say “There must be more to life!”
But the eyes companion to frustration,
Are blinded from the truth.
When the whole earth is filled with Glory,
Creation points to you.
Within our hearts is your law
Engraved is “eternity”
Before our feet is your throne
The cross that sets us free.
Yet we wander and scour the earth
For meaning, purpose, and truth
Never turning to what’s in front of us
We’ve turned our hearts from you.
“Oh my God” is no longer the gate of salvation
But a term of putrid vanity
And science has become the study
Of new age theology.
Relativism has become truth,
As it applies to the flesh of man.
Choice is what determines our life,
And what kills our fellow man.
Oh wretched sinners!
How we lost our way.
How evil are even the ones
Who dare to bare your name.
And we who have been made with Christ
Still have turned away from you
Have defiled your holy temple,
The body bought by you.
We who claim to be vessels of Christ
Carry our Christ to bed
With those who have defiled our souls
Who’s steps will lead to death.
And the mouths that join together
To sing praises to your name
Leave the building we’ve labeled “the church”
And quickly utter what’s profane.
Because life has been made a journey of taste
Lead by whimsical cravings of tongue.
Christ is only to be followed
When he gives you what you want.
Away with rules and restrictions
Give us instant gratification.
Away with what guides and protects
Our desolate souls cry for damnation.

THE GREAT I AM! THE GREAT I AM!
THE GREAT I AM! THE KING!
If you who are chosen hold your tongue
The rocks of the earth will sing.
Oh God have your way with us!
We have not chosen you!
My God have your way with those you love
We need to love you too.
The wrath that your grace has withheld
Soon will be set free
For you, Oh God, are Righteous and Just
You alone are King.
Do with us as you will
To turn our hearts back to you.
May your Glory be fulfilled
In what is your plan to do.
Tear down the idols that defile your name
Tear down what man has made.
My soul is grieved with longing
I stand lonesome and unashamed
For the world to know the Glory
The Glory in your name.
Let those who bear a witness
Gather together to call on you
Let those who truly seek your face
Be ambassadors of the truth.
May we join in numbers,
May we speak the truth
Singing a jubilant song
Sharing the joy we find in you.
Let us be persecuted in your name
For gospel sake
Let us face trials of many kinds
To bring your Glory Fame
Let the blood that was shed on the cross
Incarnadine the earth,
Come what may let us see
A revival a rebirth!

You alone are God
For you alone are God.
One day every knee will bow
For you alone, Our God.

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Before man is my lover

God is the Lover of my soul.

God is Love; within His name dwells His glory

 

Before I am the beloved of man

I am the beloved of Christ.

May I unashamedly be captivated by His love.

 

Before I am the responder of man

I am the responder to the Holy Ghost

May I love as He first loved me.

 

Oh song of my spirit!

You are a fire in my bones

I can’t hold it in, indeed I am weary

“Abba! Father!”  My lips refrain

Lull me to a passionate outcry.

Oh how you haved loved me!

Oh how you have called me to yourself!

I am and adulterous bride,

Yet You see me as blameless.

May I forever be a child of God

The bride of Christ

And Cleave to Your Spirit.

May this covenant never be broken.

Let purity and light guide my steps as I walk

The path divinely placed before me.

Being wooed by my Author my Perfector,

May I run in the way of your commands.

You have set my heart free!

With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.
I rejoice in following your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.

Your Law is my delight, my counselor

May I never leave the shadow of Your wings.

 

Why are we to love others?

You have first loved us.

How are we to love?

“Do unto others as you

Would have them do unto you.”

 

May my love be everlasting

Unconditional

Unwavering

Unadulterated

Full of purity

Abundant

Life giving.

Because You have first loved me

 

May I protect others,

As you have protected me in love.

May I nourish others

As you have nourished me in love.
As a vine cleaves to its branch

May I so dearly depend on you.

Let me stay in your shade

as you protect me.

Let me stay connected to you

As you supply my soul with all I need.

 

Nothing can separate me from this love.

 

My unworthiness brings me to tears

Yet rejoicing still, for You call me as Your own.

As crown is to her husband

May my life reflect Your glory;

For you have chosen me as your bride.

No greater Love could I ever find.

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“O that this too sullied flesh would melt,
Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew…”

 

-Hamlet, brother, I feel your pain.

 

Though I have never contemplated suicide as the quoted statement implies, I myself have wished that my flesh of sin would melt away. That the sin nature in me would enter into an evanescence, so that I can purely be made in the image of Christ.

 

I would sell my self to celibacy.

I would send myself into slavery.

I would denounce my dreams and desires to discipleship.

I would sacrifice my self awareness, selfish ambitions, myself.

I would vend the things made valuable the world.

I would carry the cross.

I would trudge through forgotten territories.

I would sleep next to death.

I would rise to and ever-present rain.

I would give the words of my mouth for the Gospel of the living God.

I would become the hands and feet and the body of Christ

I would leave love ones

I would leave worldly love.

I would love others more than my life.

 

As God enables, I can.

And as God desires, I will.

 

“Oh for the sake of the glorious cross,

Let this be my single boast.

That I may consider all the world vain,

And cling to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.”

 

Yet no matter where I Go, no matter what I do, my own unmelted flesh follows me, hinders me, ensnares me.

 

But let us celebrate in this:

 

“…neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons,

neither the present nor the future,

nor any powers,

neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8

 

Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”

Romans 8

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Search me oh God
Know my heart
See if there is any way in me that pulls me astray
For I am bound to your mercy
I am fettered to your love
Create in me a pure heart
A heart that delights in you only
I have chosen the path of righteousness
Do not let me go astray
I tred the path that is narrow
Keep my feet from going weary
Should I turn away now?
Should I deny the grace that has brought me thus far?
No!
Such a thought is purtide to my mind.
A bad taste to my mouth.
All the more I cling to you
I hold fast to my King
As a child not yet weaned from his mother.
Hold onto me as I hold on to you.
I have come accustomed to your ways.
your will is my delight.
your law my couselors.
Defend me from evil
For i am defensless.
Safegaurd me from tempations
For I am weak.
With out you
There is no hope
there is no life
there is no joy.
No everlasting peace
With out you there is nothing,
Because All was created by you
Through you
for you.
I am your creatiion.
May the life this body creates
Be submissive to your will.
May the work my hands toil
bring glory to your name.
May the words my lips utter
And the thoughts my mind ponder
Be centered on Christ, on you, on my messiah.
I am your creation.
Made by you
Made through you
Made for you.
May every fiber of my being sing your praises.
let me reverberate with a rejoicing refrain of your glory
May I repent daily.
May i fall on my knees and give you the worship that is due.
May everyday be a new way
To fall more in love with you.
Hold onto me as I hold onto you.
This world is to hard
Satan is to hard
My flesh is to hard
Temptation to hard
All is to hard with out your grace.
Praise be to you
May I give you glory
Humble me
May I exalt you
With all of my praise
With all of my heart
With all of my life
With all that i am.
May i exalt your name.
My King
My savior
My wonderful friend.

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I teach 3 services on Sunday mornings. In my last class most of the kids are have already come to one of the earlier services, so instead of going on with the regular lesson we have a class discussion about life, and Christianity and how it applies in each of there lives. I really enjoy it and look forward to the crazy questions from… “Does God love Jews more than us?” to “Does God have a wife?”

A few Sundays back, I showed the kids a video on the highly esteemed youtube. And instantly the kids tried to convince me to show other videos of other random things.  I didn’t show any of there request in fear that a slew of unexpected cuss words would make its way into impressionable ears. But i took there requests and watched them at home to see if they were appropriate.

Those were the stupidest video request I have ever seen… Music Video voice over to the Mario Brothers and Halo?

I then remembered a video from me in my high school musical my Junior year- I busted my head open on stage… I uploaded it to youtube and here it is…I suggest you watch it at least twice for full effect.
Enjoy:

They loved it. They were especially pleased that it was me receiving the pain.

So how does this apply to Christianity???

1) God has a plan and a purpose for each of our lifes…
Which is why I’m still alive.
-As a baby Ive had roughly 35 pounds of glass fall on top of me
-I was electrocuted at a pee wee ball park when I was 8, cutting out the electricity in 5 fields
-I was attacked by a Rottweiler and walked away with stitches
-When I was 3 I was run over by a pickup truck. It ran over my legs. If it ran over me any lower I would be permanently crippled, possible amputation. Any higher I would have died from eternal bleeding.
-I also wrecked my brothers pickup… rolling it 5 times.
-Not to mention countless other brainless feats and stupid endeavors. In elementary school I was know as “the girl that jumped off tall things.”

Were all alive for a reason.. Otherwise why would we be alive. God has continually confirmed the plan he has for my life. And he has an exciting and wonderful plan for you. If your not living to do what your created for… why would life be worth living?

2) Nothing has been more excited in my life than the Love of Christ
Ive been blessed to experience (or survive) allot of things in my life. But nothing has been more thrilling that what the experience of the Love of Christ.

3) I’m a disaster… and a wonderful Creation.
Im honestly a human time bomb, if you hear a car alarm outside, chances are… its me.
But I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Sometimes I wish that I wasn’t so crazy or prone to find disaster.. but that’s the way God made me. I’ll embrace it.
Just as God made you for a certain purpose, He has given you certain qualities to fulfill it.
Know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

-Kay

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